A Life Well Lived
Photo by Jackson David from Pexels
When I was 15 years old, I left my home in Kentucky to go to a boarding school in England called Brockwood Park. It was a radical education model. While I took A-level classes, the premise of the school was based on the philosopher J. Krishnamurti who’s intent was to create an educational setting free from fear, with dialogue and inquiry as the underlying praxis. This education had a lot of advantages— I have developed into a person with a high degree of morality and self-inquiry. I think that kind of expansive educational experience has helped me become a person who holds a tremendous amount of nuance and compassion for humanity. I feel humanity so deeply and want to serve the world.
The school itself was in the English countryside, surrounded by rolling hills, pastures of sheep, and large cedars. The grounds gave me a connection to nature and a deep love of trees. The grove of trees I visited daily brought me into a place of quiet that I have been able to return to, an inner landscape that has been my resource through challenging times.
While I craved having some kind of mother-figure while I was there, I did have an amazing tutor named Gopal, who taught me sciences and taught me through how he lived his life. Gopal had a practice where he would periodically give away all of his belonging so that what he did have could fit in a backpack. His regular giveaways were how I acquired a pair of Krishnamurti’s pants. Krishnamurti was my size. And I am a very petite woman. I wore these tailor made men’s paints throughout my teens, always with a little bit of humor.
Lately, I have been thinking about Gopal and his practice of only having what is essential to him and asking myself how I can be more like that. This year, I have vowed to reflect on and shift my relationship to consumerism. We have so much stuff. And I have been finding it all too easy to buy things with one-click. My husband had to stage an intervention due to my accumulation of craft supplies.
It is hard to believe that when I first moved back to Asheville I had only a basket full of clothes, my most beloved books, a few bowls and cups, my Vitamix, and my sweet little dog. Everything else I have accumulated in the last 8 years. With marriage, we accumulated more, and then having a baby even more. I am still holding onto our baby items because we haven’t decided whether or not we are done having children. Sometimes, I feel so certain that we won’t and then something in my heart whispers that maybe I will have another, maybe a little girl, maybe not.
When I have been taking on-line desire courses, and writing down my desires, having more stuff is not one of them. Sure, I like beautiful things. However, I am not under the illusion that things make a person happy. I have been happy and carefree with not many possessions weighing me down. What I most desire are experiences and signs that I am on the right track with my life. I would like to devote more time to saving the planet from catastrophic collapse, eventually selling our house and buying a little piece of land with animals, time to develop my writing craft, time near the ocean, time to nap, time to read, and the space to get a massage once a month.
Lately, I also have been really wanting to go to the Congaree National Park to show my son the majesty of the old growth forrest. There is so much I want to show him about this beautiful world. I feel like if most people stopped long enough to soak in the beauty of our world and the beauty of being alive in the midst of it all—we wouldn’t all be so collectively numb, hungry, and driven by the accumulation of things and status to make us happy. I am interested in the practice of a life well lived. A life so full of interesting experiences and connections that every day there is a story to tell, a memory to share, and a deep care to preserve our world for the next generations.
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